Surrender has been synonymous with failure or the beginning of a fall

Waving a white flag of humility I do not feel like a failure at all

I have surrendered to plenty of things in life

Sub-consciously and unwillingly

As I took a moral inventory

It revealed my past indiscretions of immoral surrenders were killing me

I remember surrendering to the streets

Unconditionally loving a lifestyle

That showed no love in return

Forcing 151 down my throat as it burned

Giving my unconditional love to a spirit with no return

Swallowing my indiscretions and insecurities

Creating a false reality

While all the while

Everything I was searching for was already in me


I remember surrendering to lust

Trading intoxicated promises with trust

Exchanging the gift inside of me

Planting my seed inside of her

When I did not want to spend my life with her

I just wanted one night with her

I hoped she understood

Now I understand

How can I explain to her the truth

If I am not a man


I remember surrendering to the law

Giving them control of my free will

Or should I say freedom

It was my choice to act dumb

So I was forced to succumb

To a system overflowing with lost men

Forced to be still

The truth was revealed

"You gave up your life"

Building treasures here on earth

Ego and pride are actually doubts and low self worth


Did it take  this journey for me to surrender to something greater?

Greater than women, money, cars and clothes

but I suppose they will label me a hater

But I am not ashamed Romans 1:16

I am redeemed

Even when I lost treasures that took years to acquire

He restored everything and I am in awe

Now I understand why my journey is long and yet still so far

Treasures built up in Heaven are classics

So why is surrendering so drastic

Surrender to something spiritual

Not material

So when I raise my white flag I

I raise it in appreciation

I have surrendered but I have not fallen

Answer your calling

You are redeemed, restored and uplifted

You have not failed or fallen

Secure your position in the frontlines of the battlefield of life

Surrendering to something greater

Fighting the war for your victory in the eternal life

ASK for what YOU WANT

ASK for what YOU WANT

I’ve made a choice to ASK for what I want Writing this down took some effort I couldn’t understand WHY When did I decided what I want is wrong? The voice in my head (which I call my ROAD DAWG) tells me I’ve always did what i want I don’t understand WHY I offer you a part of my LIFE A part that my ROAD DAWG is trying to silence I NEVER ASK for what I WANT I have lied I have manipulated I have schemed I have worried I have fought I’ve went to WAR for what I WANT but I’ve NEVER ASKED So let me try some simple questions, they seem easy to ASK “I WANT to get to know you, can I?” “I WANT the job, when can I start?” “I WANT the promotion, what’s the next step?” “I WANT to be closer with you son, can we talk?” “I WANT to be the best brother for you , how? “ I WANT to be the best son for you, how?” and the list never stops……. You see, I’ve always assumed that I need a plan A type of approach A scheme or manipulation to ASK for what I want I DON’T i’m committed to asking for what I WANT I am committed to accepting the responsibility for the choice of asking for what I WANT I’m committed to having what I WANT and then the lightbulb popped! There’s only ONE question so I asked MYSELF “Is it ok to have what I WANT?”




The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.


If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.


If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.


The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.


Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.


The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.


People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.


What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.


People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.


Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

The Struggle

I've been known to say "the struggle is real" but as I matured into a better place in my life I realized there's a difference in struggling because of a decision I made that wasn't under God and struggling doing HIS work.


So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you. (NLT) ( 1 Peter 4:19 ) 


No one likes to suffer but yet we all do at some point in our lives. The question is whether we're suffering with a Godly purpose or suffering from our bad decisions. If you've made a decision such as to purchase unnecessary stuff and find yourself suffering financially, it's probably time to take action and reverse the suffering. However, if you're in an uncomfortable situation because of an inconvenience to your schedule due to helping others, it may just be a suffering with a Godly purpose. What are you suffering for?

Moving Forward

Today is an phenomenal day for me. I want to share with anyone who feels lost and destitute. This time list year I was unemployed, an alcoholic, divorced, homeless, given a death sentence by the age of 40 and the people I love the most had enough of my issues. 


God used my issues to show HIS power. There is probably not one person that knew me two years ago that would think I would even be alive! 




In 2016 I WIIL Inspire. Because Gods WILL is to use my life as a testament to HIS love. I have no problem with the man I used to be because he molded the bad clay into a miracle. 


I want everyone to know YOUR WORTHY! The validation you seek in already given to you. No one or thing will fill the HOLE you SPIRIT is yearning for. 


God will reposition you life when you reposition your thoughts. Winthe battle in your mind. The fulfillment is priceless. 


I talked for a living most of my life. As I became wiser, I only spoke when I had something to say. Walk in the truth and your LIFE will speak volumes. 


Now that I'm rambling I want to thank God and all of the Angels he sent to protect me. 


I am getting my Internet Marketing Masters today and I've started my own business a I have a very fulfilling job. No resolutions for 2016. I claim deeper spirituality, love, family and great friends. Everything else will fall into place with drive, discipline and ambition. 


I wrote this for ANYONE who needs "something" but doesn't know how to get "it". God has a great plan for YOUR life. Let HIM take the wheel, it's easier. If YOU ever need driving lessons I'm here, that's my mission statement for 2016.




You can show two people the exact same painting and get two differentperceptions. In life you have people who look at things and find the things wrong and people who look at things and find the things that are right. Nothing's wrong with either choice, but I asked myself "Which person am I?" & "Which perception do I want for my life?" 



/ˈdignitē/ noun


1. The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you, but a headache. 


2. The moment you realize God had greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or sad Pinterest quotes.


3. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others because it undermines your worth, education and your parent’s wisdom.


4. The moment you live your dreams, not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do. People’s opinions don’t matter. 


5. The moment you realize that no one is your enemy, except yourself.


6. The moment you realize that you can have everything you want in life. However, it takes timing, the right heart, the right actions, the right passion and a willingness to risk it all. If it is not yours, it is because you really didn’t want it, need it or God prevented it. 


7. The moment you realize the ghost of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved. They really don't want you mucking up the family line with someone that acts anything less than honorable.


8. The moment you realize that happiness was never about getting a person. They are only a helpmate towards achieving your life mission.


9. The moment you believe that love is not about losing or winning. It is just a few moments in time, followed by an eternity of situations to grow from.


10. The moment you realize that you were always the right person. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness.” 

Shannon L. Alder